Sometimes I am very lucky and my partner not only buys me flowers but helps me take photographs with them too. I haven’t talked a lot about my partner on the blog, partly to protect his privacy and partly because he isn’t very interested in sex, and this is, after all, a sex blog.
There wouldn’t be a blog without him though. I’m not sure there would be a me. He is always there behind the scenes working really hard to support me; cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, bringing me the things I need – food, water, medicines, heat packs/ice packs, massaging my body every night to keep the blood flowing and putting up with my ups and downs.
I have never met anyone so dedicated to others and ready to drop anything at a moments notice for someone else. It was one of the reasons marrying him was so easy twenty years ago, and why I feel utterly safe with him.
That doesn’t mean our relationship is always easy. I miss having time together when he isn’t acting as my carer. He is almost always exhausted and overwhelmed by everything he has to manage, and often feels very stressed. I hate being a burden and feel guilty about wanting more than he can give.
None of this matters though, because we love each other and trust each other to keep doing that even when things are hard. I know many friends whose partners abandoned them when they got sick, something I have never had to be afraid of.
He also cared enough about me and my needs that he was willing to talk though and adjust to me becoming poly. This process took about a year, and although it seemed inconceivable at the start, it made more and more sense as we took each small step and I am in awe of his willingness to adapt and be open to something so outside of his experience.
This guy has moved mountains for me. He is blooming lovely.