It’s been a month since I’ve been able to have a bath. I am missing it terribly, in part because I love being in water, and in part because it was one of the very few ways I had to rest other than lying in bed.
It’s also been a month of extreme stress, wondering whether my newfound decision this year to explore and make the most of opportunities has been stopped before it could really get going. I’m still wading through, waiting for there to be a resolution of symptoms and place to rest. It has been brutal, and lonely, and sad.
At this point I am not sure how much of that sadness is mine, and how much of it is medication. I am slightly suspicious that I have been affected by some side effects that are listed as ‘depression’ and ‘suicidal thoughts’. I have some experimenting to do.
I would be over the moon at this point to just be dealing with my usual long covid nonsense, and delighting in the exciting sexy opportunities that might be possible this year. It all seems far away right now.