Watching
I have always been a keen observer. Perpetually on the edge of things, at one time it was a survival strategy. An attempt to make sure I didn’t say or do the wrong thing, that thing that would make my parents or my neurotypical peers look at me strangely, laugh, or get upset. I wasn’t very successful at this, and I still get nervous in unfamiliar situations. The worst thing possible would be to get it wrong, and hurt someone I care about.
Later, I hid behind the lens of a camera, taking photo after photo of everyone else in order to have a familiar role during events and gatherings. So much easier to be the photographer than to come up with small talk. So much easier to read faces through a lens than directly.
Then it became my career. What was once hypervigilance and over-sensitivity became instead an ability to read and empathise with others, an integral part of my job as a therapist.
I still enjoy people watching. I am still a voyeur (only now it is MUCH more fun!) But the lens I have turned towards myself.
I can relate on several levels
Watching and being watched, pleasure can be drawn from both. Lovely photo, B&W is a nice erotic touch. 🙂
T & K
Thank you!
Hard related to this. I still am more a watcher than anything, and I have got things wrong somewhat recently because its who I am, I think I hurt them or at least made them uncomfortable and lost them as somewhat of a friend.
Love that you turned the lens on yourself and for these wonderful pics you share with us plus all the things you’ve done or are going to do.
It can be so hard sometimes. We put ourselves on the edges, and sometimes that means we miss out on what is good.
I can certainly relate to these words. I much prefer to be behind the camera than the subject the camera is pointed.
Thanks for your willingness to become the subject of the camera & sharing the photographs.
Oh I can definitely relate to this. I have always been a people watcher, preferring to sit on the edge of things and watch other do…. but yes like you I have found myself able to explore my exhibitionist side a way that I feel comfortable with
Molly
I am very glad that you have!!
Watching can be so much fun, in the right circumstances. I need to step forward more but I always revert into stepping back.
Watching is definitely fun. I hope that you can step forward a little more though, if that is what you want and need.
I also love watching people and the things they do (and say). I’m glad though that you are enjoying becoming your own subject too though.
Thank you!