I have always been a keen observer. Perpetually on the edge of things, at one time it was a survival strategy. An attempt to make sure I didn’t say or do the wrong thing, that thing that would make my parents or my neurotypical peers look at me strangely, laugh, or get upset. I wasn’t very successful at this, and I still get nervous in unfamiliar situations. The worst thing possible would be to get it wrong, and hurt someone I care about.

Later, I hid behind the lens of a camera, taking photo after photo of everyone else in order to have a familiar role during events and gatherings. So much easier to be the photographer than to come up with small talk. So much easier to read faces through a lens than directly.

Then it became my career. What was once hypervigilance and over-sensitivity became instead an ability to read and empathise with others, an integral part of my job as a therapist.

I still enjoy people watching. I am still a voyeur (only now it is MUCH more fun!) But the lens I have turned towards myself.

Sinful Sunday

12 thoughts on “Watching”

  • Hard related to this. I still am more a watcher than anything, and I have got things wrong somewhat recently because its who I am, I think I hurt them or at least made them uncomfortable and lost them as somewhat of a friend.

    Love that you turned the lens on yourself and for these wonderful pics you share with us plus all the things you’ve done or are going to do.

    • It can be so hard sometimes. We put ourselves on the edges, and sometimes that means we miss out on what is good.

  • I can certainly relate to these words. I much prefer to be behind the camera than the subject the camera is pointed.

    Thanks for your willingness to become the subject of the camera & sharing the photographs.

  • Oh I can definitely relate to this. I have always been a people watcher, preferring to sit on the edge of things and watch other do…. but yes like you I have found myself able to explore my exhibitionist side a way that I feel comfortable with


    • Watching is definitely fun. I hope that you can step forward a little more though, if that is what you want and need.

  • I also love watching people and the things they do (and say). I’m glad though that you are enjoying becoming your own subject too though.

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