Beautiful
Last week, I tweeted this:
“Sometimes when my life feels small and boring, and I feel like I have no power or autonomy, I open the hidden folder of photos on my phone and remember that I am brave and bold and wild beyond imagining.”
Living with chronic illness for the most part is an ongoing battle with pain and disappointment, and depression and hopelessness can quickly work their weasely way in and ruin my day. It can feel a bit like whack-a-mole, dealing with each new drop, and so finding the moments of joy that I can access has become absolutely essential to my survival.
One of the most powerful tools I have now is that folder of photos, telling the story of those moments of joy, of bravery, and of change. They remind me that I have not chosen to sit still in my disability (though I do sit still, most of the time) but to actively work against the thoughts of worthlessness and grief of loss in ways I had never imagined were possible.
I may not be able to access the things I once loved doing, or physically make the effort to support others the way I long to, I may not have control over the way my body is changing, but I can and have made the most of the moments I can to create something beautiful, and see that beauty in myself as well.
I used to play the piano, among other things. It was a source of great joy and fun for me. I can only dabble a little now, but I can find other ways to enjoy the music!


Stunning
Thank you
This is ridiculously lovely. Your smile just lights this up.
I know it’s a hard path you are on, but I’m so glad you have moments like this to draw upon.
Thank you so much Jaffa!
You can still create and enjoy!
Beautiful words complimented by a great photo.
Thank you
What a fabulous image and thoughts on your hidden photo file. I’ve not thought about it as being a source of inspiration when I’m feeling down. I might do so now. Thank you for that.
Missy x
Thank you Missy. It has been so helpful. It is like my secret reminder that I am my own person and am creative, beautiful and daring.
Since you’ve been posting here, I’ve had the pleasure of viewing different aspects of your body.
This is the first time I’ve seen your smile. AND, it’s beautiful.
Put this in that hidden folder and check it often because it suits you so well.
And if you get dark thoughts, we are here for you always.
We REALLY are all in this together.
Hmm. We REALLY aren’t. But thanks for cheering from the shore.
Thank you JerBear
You are going through a lot but there is so much more to you than your disability. Life is meant for grabbing and for those low moments, looking back over the happy memories is a great way to life spirits.
Thank you! I am planning to grab every one I can from now on.
A lovely, hopeful and joyful post 🙂
Thank you!
That smile….. I love it. And then the little glimpse of your beautiful bush. Just love this shot so much
Molly