Bank Holiday

Yesterday was my first #bankholidaybumday. It was also my first time ever participating in an nsfw twitter hashtag. It felt equally exhilarating and terrifying. I loved the genuine lovely feedback from fantastically supportive tweeps and at the same time found myself feeling nervous about every view from someone I didn’t recognise or wasn’t connected in some way to the people I follow. It was nice to join in, though, and be a part of something, rather than just watching from the sidelines.

It definitely helped me to feel less isolated, given that I spend most of my time very removed from all the community I used to enjoy. It also reminds me of how much photography has been crucial in maintaining a positive body image over the last few months, watching my body weaken and losing all my favourite things (nossa, I miss walking in the woods! The sense of peace I used to feel underneath the canopy, the way the light filters through gently and the smell! That wonderful smell). I also no longer take for granted scrolling on my phone (yeah I know, it’s not exactly healthy, but sometimes it’s all I have, and yet there are times I can’t even hold my phone) or getting downstairs and into the garden which is a huge event for me now. And sex, obviously, which looks very different now to the way it did even last September, when I was already six months into my post-viral fatigue.

It feels like this is the next step to take for me after taking my first nude photo three months ago. That first photo was huge, someone I cared about wanted to see me, and not only that but seeing myself through a lens for the first time allowed me to feel sexy and beautiful, and to start to love and own the body I am in.

Now I have a camera roll full of photographs that make me feel good, that allow me to own my own body and my own sexuality – to enjoy myself in a way I can’t in almost every other part of my life. Even when I can’t leave my room, I can take a photo or two, and feel lovely for a little while.

4 thoughts on “Bank Holiday”

  • You are lovely and sensual and so beautiful. I am so glad that you have joined in. The power of sharing photos is quite amazing. I hope that it continues to be fantastic for you. Honey xx

    • What a beautiful thing to say Honey, thank you. I feel very welcome. I am looking forward to sharing more. xx

  • I don’t know you all that well, but i’m glad you joined in, and how it made you feel.
    It was a lovely photo to see and coment on.
    Joining in with these things can be powerful, seeing the reaction and having interactions can make it even better, I know I’ve been finding that out even more so recently.

    Whether you post more often or not I hope when it do it can be just as good for you.

    • Thank you so much. It does feel powerful, and it’s fantastic to have a space in my life to explore that. I’m glad to have met you and hope to get to know you a bit better.

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